Comic strip characters aren't as hairy as they should be

Happy weekend, everybody.  Bah, enough with the cheesy intros.  On with the comic stuff.

Reality Check:

 To me, "stick on a stick" just looks like two sticks.  I guess to a beaver it looks like a stick on a stick.  I think it would be more effective to call it "Two sticks for the price of one!" Then people would think they were getting a deal.  Of course, you still charge them the same amount you would charge for two sticks, but they don't know that.

Family Circus:

"No, Jeffy, but neither do I apparently.  No chest hair either, unless the small amount I have is actually covered up with this book, which happens to be 'Smile!'"

Moderately Confused:

 
Getting that tattoo took the entire summer?  Wow.  That would definitely be an ordeal.  Spending an entire summer in a tattoo parlor without even getting a tattoo would be an ordeal in itself.  Congratulations on your courage and bravery, kid.

Zits:

Hey, the Asst. Principal shouldn't feel bad.  At my school, the Principal didn't even get a locker.  Here, not only does he get one, but he gets a sign.  How many students get signs in front of their lockers, huh?  Being stuck in that confined space is hard, but he should still feel lucky.

Tiger:

Wow.  I never remember bright red explosions going along with a thunderstorm.  I guess they don't realize that it's not just a thunderstorm but an actual war going on out there.  They may need the dog to defend them.  Unfortunately, the dog is a coward.